I am also a single mother.
Someone once told me "Remember when you are in a relationship, you were a 'me' before you were an 'us'." Several romantic relationships have come, all have eventually gone. The men I have dated are not bad men, with the exception of one or two that I am sure are not as bad as I make them out to be, but lives and opinions can only be so different before you say goodbye. Never mind what the differences are, just know that they were not what would have made either of us happy long-term.
I chose this life of single-parenthood, paid good money for it, in fact when I chose, at the ripe old age of thirty, to have in vitro fertilization treatments. The process of this is not as glamorous as it seems in the movies, but I was blessed to have success after only the first treatment. The results of expensive fertilization treatment, long issue-ridden pregnancy, and near death delivery are my beautiful son and the immediate plunge into the nebulous void that is the term "single parent". My only divergence from the 'normal' meaning of this term is the journey I took to get here. There was no loving conception, no breakup, no ex. I had a wonderful doctor and his wonderful team who entered room, finished a procedure, wished me good luck. I was able to see a Fertility Psychiatrist (something that is common for single women wanting a family), and a gentleman who had the misfortune of having the title of Head of Sperm. I looked through a catalog... several in fact... to choose the lucky vial that would be the father of my child.
Apart from the journey, I am the same. I am Single Mom. No, I don't receive child support each month, but I also do not have custody battles. The trade-off is worth it to me.
But before there was "us", there was "me". Sometimes, during the last fourteen months, I have forgotten who that is. For the single moms of the world, we all forget. No, wait. For all the moms, not just the single ones, we may forget.
Who were you?
Who are you?
Who do you want to be?
If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be? Is it a term that is positive or negative to you?
Who were you?
Independent
Who are you?
Playful
Who do you want to be?
Warm
One word: Mama.
And I love it. I love it so very much.
